Plea From a Girl Named Danielle
by J. Marguerite
Summary: Danielle muses over Johnny on a humid Saturday afternoon. Set early on in Broken Memories. Song fic to 'Plea From a Cat Named Virtue' by the Weakerthans.


* * *

A/N: Yay, song fics are so fun to write! This is set sometime in Broken Memories, just before Danielle begins to hear Meat and Lola.

Disclaimer: Any characters owned by Jhonen Vasquez are not mine. The song, Plea From a Cat Named Virtue is copyrighted by The Weakerthans. Danielle and Lola are mine.

Warning: Violence/suggested violence.

* * *

_Why don't you ever want to play?__  
I'm tired of this piece of string._

Seven-year-old Danielle tugged on a loose string on her dolls', Lola, dress. Every time she pulled hard, the string would unravel a little bit more on the dress. The heat from the afternoon sun poured through the glassless windows, creating long shadows on the dusty and bloody wooden floors. Her supposed father was on the couch, lying down, his breathing slow and repetitive. He had promised to play with her hours ago, and Danielle was still waiting. Waiting like a good girl- the good girl her mother had raised when she was younger. The good girl her mother had raised before she had met her grim demise. Johnny was… alright, for a father, considering he had never had a child of his own before. He fed her, he bought her clothes and toys, and he kept a roof over his head. And top of all that, he lived next to a boy near her age- Todd, or Squee as most called him, although Danielle couldn't bring herself to call him that, was a good friend. He was friendly, albeit a little bit shy at times and Danielle felt as though she could connect with him. Johnny had given her so much after taking her mother's life. But there was one thing he didn't take care of: himself.

_  
You sleep as much as I do now, and you__  
Don't eat much of anything._

The small girl lifted her head from her beloved doll as Johnny moved on the couch. He was asleep, and had been for the past seven hours. It seemed almost awkward to be around him when he fell asleep, and when he woke up. He was always different then; sometimes angrier, sometimes in a better mood. He had been sleeping everyday for the past week, and although he always said he wouldn't do it again the next day, he did. Danielle slept for seven to eight hours a night- it seemed, in her mind, that for however long she slept one night, Johnny would do the same hours the next day. Danielle had slept for nine the previous night, and with the clock ticking slowly on the wall, she presumed the man on the couch would have an hour and fifty-three minutes before he should wake, or something along those lines. It was a completely different story however with the amount of food they both ate. Danielle would eat probably a little under the average amount a seven-year-old should eat, whereas Johnny would eat next to nothing. Maybe a meal a week, although that would be over estimating if he didn't eat anything on the walks he went on. It worried Danielle with the amount of food he didn't put in his body. She knew it wasn't healthy.

_  
I don't know who you're talking to-__  
I've made a search through every room,_

Johnny awoke, which caught Danielle off guard. Setting Lola down on the dusty floor, the particles rising in the air, and settling back down within a few seconds, she tucked her legs underneath her slight frame and waited for Johnny to say something. He generally did whenever he woke up, although he rarely said anything to her. Danielle had no idea who he was talking to when he rambled on about things that didn't matter or concern him; psychology, teaching degrees, the meaning to the smile on the Mona Lisa. Johnny talked about them anyway, to someone Danielle couldn't see. And, as expected, Johnny began mumble to himself- or someone else- his back still to Danielle. For once, the girl wanted to find out whom the mysterious person was that was invisible to her eye. Standing up slowly, and trying to make no sound, she slipped off her shoes, and stood, barefooted on the wooden floor. Johnny still hadn't moved, although his voice had risen. Tip-toeing around the couch, just out of his line of vision, Danielle began to search through the rooms of the house.

_  
But all I found was dust that moved  
In shadows of the afternoon._

It didn't take very long- twenty minutes would be pushing it- but Danielle didn't find anyone. Every room she entered had the same dust and the same shadows. And after she left every room, she would like back, and only find the dust settling with gentle movements that made her think of them as small people, doing a dance that she couldn't do. It all seemed to big a thought for a seven year old, but having lived with a man who enjoyed think big, and talking to people who weren't there, for quite a long time- long for a seven year old, that is- some of his philosophical thinking had rubbed off onto her. Johnny was both a positive and negative influence. Positive because he showed her life was short and negative because she seemed to care less if she lived for a long time or not.

_And listen,  
About those bitter songs you sing?_

It bothered Danielle that Johnny was such a bitter person. Her mother did have her bad moments, but overall she was an optimistic person. She could see the good in every person, every situation. But now, as Danielle sat back down next to the couch, Johnny still seeming to not notice she was there, the girl couldn't see the good in living with Johnny. Any lesson he taught her, she knew she would learn one day in the future. Whether it be near or far, she didn't know, but she knew she would have learned the one day.

_  
They aren't helping anything.__  
They won't make you strong._

They didn't help her now. Learning that one day she would die? She knew that already, but learning it properly at seven didn't help much. Learning that not everyone is bright and cheery? She could have learnt that in her pre-teen angst ridden years. Learning how to gouge someone's eye out with a screwdriver? She doubted that would be any use.Maybe, Danielle thought as Johnny's yelling to the mysterious being, Johnny simply 'taught' her these things because he hadn't learnt them when he was her age, and guessed that it should be taught early instead of later. Maybe he taught her these things to make him feel better about himself.

_So, we should open up the house.__  
Invite the tabby two doors down._

Johnny was moving once again in his seat, but this time, as Danielle grabbed Lola and pulled at the string once more, he was sitting up. Danielle counted the seconds until he realized she was there. One… two… three… four… five… six… seven…

'Danielle!'

Eight. Danielle lifted her head, and gave a gentle smile. It was two seconds shorter than the day before. He was improving, which was always a good sign. And thirteen seconds shorter than the first day he fell asleep- plus he remembered her name. He hadn't the other days- Danielle had had to tell him. There was any uneasy pause, before Johnny finally asked what she wanted to do. Danielle thought about it for a moment. There was a cat two doors down from them- a large tabby with sharp claws, but it was rather friendly once it got to know you. Danielle wanted to bring it back home with her. Or at least keep the door open in hopes of coaxing it inside the house. Maybe Johnny would allow her to take it home.

_  
You can ask your sister, if__  
She doesn't bring her Basset Hound._

If she was permitted, then she would like to bring someone around. Johnny occasionally mentioned someone named 'Devi' in his rants to the invisible person. Danielle had no idea whom this Devi was. Maybe it was his mother, but then wouldn't he call Devi 'Mum'? Or 'Mother' or 'Ma' or some other maternal-related name? Maybe Devi was an Aunt, but Danielle always called her aunts and uncles 'Aunty' or 'Uncle'. Maybe Devi was Johnny's sister. Maybe they could invite his sister over then. In his rants about Devi, whom Danielle now presumed to be his sister, he used the word 'bitch' a lot about someone named 'Tenna'. Danielle had looked the word 'bitch' up in the dictionary at school, and found out it meant a female dog. Maybe Devi had a dog named Tenna. What type of dog would it be? A poodle? Danielle liked poodles, especially the short ones with puffy tails. Or a St. Bernard. Or maybe a Basset Hound. Danielle wasn't too fond of those types- she thought they were ugly- but she liked dogs all the same.

_  
And as for things you shouldn't miss:  
__Tape- hiss and the Modern Man,_

Johnny did like to rant, Danielle thought as she pulled at Lola's hair, still thinking of what she would like to do. He would complain about anything: Computers, cassette tapes, mice, the modern man (and woman if he wasn't feeling sexist and complaining about female dogs). But at the same time, he would boast about them. About the good things and great things of having a society which has developed so far in the past one hundred years, and how far it would continued to develop in the next one hundred. It confused Danielle an awful lot, but she never said anything, and decided it was all a part of growing up.

_  
The Cold War and Card Catalogues, __  
To come and join us if they can,_

One thing Johnny absolutely loved to talk about was the Cold War. When Danielle asked if he had taken part in it, Johnny just began to laugh. Danielle had never even heard of the 'Cold War'. She though it must have been fought in the Artic and had polar bears for spectators. When she asked what was so funny, Johnny just told her nothing, and said nothing else about it. Danielle did still think it was rather confusing, and asked her teacher about it. It was then she learnt it wasn't a 'Hot War' in which Russia and the US fought in a non-violent way, post World War Two. Johnny still laughed occasionally when she brought it up, which bothered her immensely. Another thing he loved to go on about were card catalogues, and how little there were of them. That was one thing Danielle agreed on- she loved 'junk mail', and loved to go through the catalogues, circling things she would like to own. Maybe, along with the tabby two doors down, Devi and her dog Tenna, they could invite all those things over to their house.

_For girly drinks and parlor games.__  
We'll pass around the easy lie_

And once everyone and everything had arrived at their home, they could all sip brightly coloured drinks, and play a lot of fun games. They could have like a big party, with all of the things Johnny loved to talk about, whilst sipping cocktails- non-alcoholic of course, because Danielle wasn't allowed to drink such things until she was twenty-one- and do lots of fun activities, and talk about lots of different things. They have a fun time, and maybe, just maybe, Johnny wouldn't be such a resentful person anymore.

_  
Of absolutely no regrets, __  
And later maybe you could try_

And maybe he would be more content with life- have no regrets, which Danielle's mother always associated with being content. She had no regrets, and she seemed so much like the opposite of Johnny. Danielle missed her terribly. If she was alive, then maybe she would be invited to the party, if Johnny let her. It took the girl a moment to realize if her mother were alive, then she wouldn't be sitting on the floor, dreaming up a party that associated all the things Johnny disliked, because she wouldn't know Johnny.

_  
To let your losses dangle off  
The sharp edge of a century,_

Maybe at the party, Johnny would forget all the failings he had had. He usually spoke about all the bad things in his life when he was depressed, or had a bad day… which was generally every day. Maybe at the party, he would no longer feel the need to express his sadness because he would be surrounded by all the things he liked, and all the positive things in the world, like tabby cats and female dogs. Things like that always cheered Danielle up, so maybe they would do the same for Johnny. Start the new century anew, maybe. Danielle had learnt that word in school, and she felt smart using it, even though it only was in her mind.

_  
And talk about the weather, or__  
How the weather used to be._

And at the party, they would talk about big, important grown-up things. Like upcoming elections- Danielle had no idea what an upcoming election was, she had only heard about it on the news, but it sounded very grown-up and very important. Or maybe they'd talk about their jobs, like her mother used to. Johnny didn't have a job, but he could pretend he had one, or just listen in on the conversation. Maybe talk about jobs he used to have. Danielle could talk about school- her job was to go to school and learn, wasn't it? So she could talk about grown-up things? Or maybe they could talk about the weather, or how the weather was yesterday, or the day before. Danielle never talked about the weather with Todd, so it must be a very grown-up thing to talk about.

_  
And I'll cater__  
With all the birds that I can kill._

What would they eat at the party? Cake and cookies with fairy bread? No, that was too childish. This was to be a very grown-up party, like the ones on TV. They usually have things like lobster, and big pieces of meat. Danielle couldn't cook meat, and she was scared of lobsters. Maybe chicken- she could go into a fast-food restaurant and buy some chicken nuggets or something. But that would cost money, and Danielle wasn't paid to go to school. She had killed a bird the day before, though- she hadn't meant to, she was just tossing a heavy rock, when there was a squawk, and next thing she knew, there was a dead crow at her feet. Maybe she could kill more birds, and they could eat that. It would look like chicken or turkey, probably.

_  
Let their tiny feathers fill__  
Disappointment._

Maybe, after killing a dozen crows or so, Danielle could use their feathers to make something for Johnny. Like a pillow, or something. Danielle liked presents, so maybe Johnny would as well. Who wouldn't like presents? Danielle knew hand-made ones were usually a bit silly, but feathers were pretty, especially if they were real, because they were softer. Maybe Johnny wouldn't be disappointed so much with life if he had a new pillow.

_  
Lie down; __  
Lick the sorrow from your skin._

Danielle was brought out of his trance by a movement beside her. Johnny was lying down once again, and she realized he was still waiting for an answer. Danielle rested her head against the old, falling apart couch and closed her eyes. It was a warm Saturday, and even though the sun was setting, it was still uncomfortably humid. She opened her eyes slightly, and flopped her head to the side. Johnny's eyes were closed, too, and he was doing something peculiar; he was licking the back of his hand, in an almost cat-like manner. Raising both her brows, Danielle pulled her legs underneath, much like the way she did half an hour or so ago, and cocked her head to the side.

_  
Scratch the terror and begin  
To believe you're strong._

It took several moments before she saw the red, somewhat raised marks on the back of his hand. Shuffling forward, she saw a large bump in the center of it, before his other hand came across it and scratched it. It was a mosquito bite. Letting a small sigh, she fell back on her backside, and hunched forward. It was another one of his peculiarities- whenever Johnny had a mosquito bite or something of the same sort, he would scratch it and scratch it until it almost bled, in which he would suck on it as if to soothe himself. Like he was licking his unhappiness away and scratching the fear away in his life. Another way, like the lessons he taught, to make himself feel good about himself.

_All you ever want to do is drink and watch TV, __  
And frankly that thing doesn't really interest me._

'What do you want to do?' Johnny finally muttered again, keeping his eyes closed.

'Let's have a party' Danielle replied, her voice soft.

'How about not…' Johnny replied, rolling over. 'I'm kind of thirsty… Let's watch TV instead, with a cold drink or something.'

Danielle's face fell. That's all he ever wanted to. Biting a nail, Danielle stood, grabbing Lola in her free hand as she did so. The television, although sometimes amusing, was never something that truly captured her attention. She could think of so many other things that were entertaining- like big grown-up parties and running around outside. Despite its humidity, it was a nice day- afternoon- out. Why couldn't Johnny see that?

_  
I swear I'm going to bite you hard__  
And taste your tinny blood_

Suppressing the urge to grow annoyed- it didn't solve anything in the long run- Danielle continued to bite her nails. She wished sometimes that Johnny was one of her nails, so she could latch her teeth down on him and rip him away from her life, spitting him out like she did with her nails that she ripped off her fingertips. Instead, if she latched onto Johnny and ripped her teeth away, she would be ripping away flesh, thus causing blood to spill out of him. The metallic taste would fill her mouth and stain her teeth, like a vampire. Danielle wasn't a vampire, she wasn't a murderer… but if she stayed with Johnny long enough, she may become one. It was a scary thought, so Danielle didn't bother to think about it.

_  
If you don't stop the self-defeating lies you've been repeating__  
Since the day you brought me home._

Johnny never really said he was a murderer in front of Danielle. He would dance around the subject, and talk about it in other ways. Like he was trying to make himself feel better. Trying to make himself strong. Wiping sweat from her brow, her shadow long on the floor, Danielle nodded slightly. He was lying in a way, repeating the same thing but in different ways; pretending he wasn't a murderer. She and Johnny both knew he was, but as long as he didn't say it, Danielle could pretend he wasn't, and that one day she wouldn't be. But for the time being, she could believe he was a good person, and he could pretend whilst she was around that he was a good person, too.

_   
  
I know you're strong.

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_

A/N: I'm hungry.


End file.
